The frustration!!

It's been a while since I updated this thing so why not do it now? My frustrations are sky high with things and hopefully writing will make me feel a little better. We'll see how that works out for me. The past week has been such a whirlwind of emotions and I literally go from crying to laughing to flipping out in a matter of minutes but hey that's me for you. I've never been that great at keeping my emotions in check...but it's fine, that's who I am and I give up on changing it. Within a week, I've almost lost my marriage, realized who my true friends are. But Mike and I are working very hard to keep our marriage alive and HEALTHY and those who think i'm stupid for it well I don't care. Mike and I have had some of the worst times ever...times that most people would literally just give up on and say it's not worth it. I've had moments when i've been laying on the floor crying just from sheer irritation and hurting and not knowing what to do. Mike and I have said some of the most hurtful things to eachother, things that would usually be unforgivable. We've hurt eachother alot...BUT we find our way back to eachother. Back to the laughs and happiness. Back to the smiles and the playful flirting. Something always happens where we look at eachother and know that we do love eachother with all our hearts and it makes us get our heads out of our asses and do what we have to do to get things "right". This time is proving the same. So, it's hard but we're getting there. I'm sure there's plenty of arguments to come...plenty of hurtful words...but marriage is a job. You just don't get paid for it.
Now onto my other "issue" in life. WTF is wrong with some people? I'm so so so tired of being there and giving my all in a friendship and then the moment the "friend" decides i'm not there enough or there's to much "drama" (see whole story above about my LIFE) they walk away like i'm nothing. Like i'm just dog crap on their shoe and not worth their time. Well, guess what? As much as I love these people I can't do this anymore. I can't sit here and beg for forgiveness and apologize and all that when it's all in vain anyway. Granted, yeah the past week I haven't been around for people like I should I guess. But for once, I had to put others to the side and focus on me and my family. Sorry for that. But I know I've made the right decision. So many times I've given up time with my husband and everyone else just to be there and listen to and comfort a "friend" while they need me. And never once did I complain or regret it. And you know what? I still dont regret it. It sucks that these people aren't in my life anymore...and it hurts more than i'll ever let show, but it's not something I have time to deal with right now. Right now my focus is my marriage, my children, my house, school work, the friends who are true and then finally ME! I've got to live for me everyonce in a while. As selfish as that may seem, but I have too. I can't possibly make Mike happy, or even my kids happy, if I'm not truly happy. So days at the gym are starting and Tuesday night dinners at Carolina Wings with my family, Movie nights with mike and ofcourse 1 vs 100 on xbox (mike and i have a new addiction). This is my life. If people don't like it, then leave it. Don't expect me to conform to what everyone wants anymore. I will not let it ruin my marriage, my life, or my kids life. Got it? Good